Crazy is as crazy does

When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries disappear and life stands explained.
- Mark Twain

Sometimes I wonder if we are all crazy and all the crazy are sane. I am trying to help a family member who is going through some rough times and hoping not to screw it up. How do you help someone clean up their life when you are trying to figure out yours? All I can do is my best and hope for a positive end.

Wants vs. Needs

My dream is to live on an island, preferably one of the US Virgin Islands. I would work part time doing whatever at a tourist trap and freelance write on the side. I often wonder if that were to come true what I would take with me. My answer would be:

1. My husband (obviously)
2. My pets (I would hate to leave them behind)
3. A box of my favorite books
4. A radio/cd player with a box of our cd’s
5. My laptop with an Internet connection
6. A small TV to pick up some news channels.

OK, I do like stuff, but what is really needed to make me happy? That is a big step in life, to discern our wants from our needs. Some people have a big list, others small. Being home alone more often I have discovered that I usually don’t turn anything on during the day. I like the quiet and enjoy sitting with my dog and a book. Sometimes I read aloud to him and even the cats will come and listen. This is how I relax and it makes me happy.

I am not saying I don’t enjoy the radio or television, quite the opposite. I follow a few TV shows and have a list of favorite movies. Music moves the world, I cannot imagine living without it. I love to read and picture the story in my mind, the same holds true with music. Music can tell a story, change your mood, spark a memory, and make you laugh or cry.

Given the opportunity, I could survive with the first four on my list, but number five would be a big help. Number six would be considered a luxury, especially if I had an island view to look at instead. I could picture hubby and me sitting on a deck at the end of the day, watching the sunset, sipping a cocktail, feeling the cool breeze off the ocean. In the end it will be who I loved and where we journeyed that will matter, not the toys that distracted me.



The leaves they are a-changin'


"Nature gives to every time and season some beauties of its own; and from morning to night, as from the cradle to the grave, it is but a succession of changes so gentle and easy that we can scarcely mark their progress." - Charles Dickens

Goals vs. Dreams

Today I met with the career advisor about my hopeful college plans. More paperwork was filled out and we reviewed what I wanted to accomplish. I have to do more dancing for the next act, but I am now seeing light at the end of the stage. My goal is to complete the list she gave me in the next couple weeks so I can get on the waiting list for January. Keeping my fingers crossed.

The online writing class I have been enjoying so much ends this week. I would like to take another but we will have to see what the money situation is when the next classes start. Bills seem to be popping out of everywhere lately, just how it goes sometimes. Through many searches I have found a mecca of free online classes on multiple subjects. When I research them some more I may have to try one and see how it works.

Besides walking the dog this morning, nothing else was accomplished, and so I shall sign off with a quote:

"I think I've discovered the secret of life - you just hang around until you get used to it."
- Charles M. Schulz

Fall Denial

Saturday night we went to the annual "Fall Denial" party put on by some friends. A bunch of people gather and bring a dish to pass, have a couple drinks, listen to a band, watch fireworks, and have fun. I always look forward to this party, it gets better every year. We ate, laughed, and had our fun early as hubby had to work Sunday morning.

I chopped and sliced my way through Sunday. Armed with a knife and cutting board I spent four hours at my sisters house, the end result was 47 jars of salsa. My mom was also there supervising the messy event. Two fingers on my left hand burned all afternoon from chopping the jalapenos and chili peppers. I was careful not to touch my eyes, but came close a couple times. My 12 year old nephew was also helping and I taught him how to properly chop peppers and tomatoes, supporting his interest in cooking. Sunday night I was tired, spending four hours with my sister and mom will do that to me. Hubby made dinner and I spent the night falling asleep in front of the television.

Summer is fading, making way for fall, and I so want to deny it. Already I see daylight disappearing a little earlier each night. Today was cool and rainy, a typical fall day, perfect for staying inside. I spent the afternoon taking notes on a couple writing books that came from the library, listening to episodes of Sex and the City. Even though I dread the thought of winter and cold, sometimes staying inside is a good thing.

Ketchup History

I love ketchup. Most people who know me understand this. I even have a t-shirt with the saying “What is life without ketchup?” Ketchup does not belong on everything, but it could go on anything. While I was thinking of all the wonderful things to eat ketchup with I wondered where ketchup began and decided to research it. Here is a basic history for anyone who appreciates ketchup.

• A pickled fish sauce called ‘ketsiap’ was brought by 17th century sailors from China. This ketsiap resembled soy sauce more than the vinegar version of today.

• In 1727, Elizabeth Smith printed the first recipe in The Complete Housewife. This recipe included anchovies, shallots, vinegar, white wine, and sweet spices.

• A New England farmer offered it for sale in 1830 for about 35 cents a jar.

• In the 1830's, recipes began appearing everywhere featuring mushrooms in the British versions and tomatoes in the US versions.

• Jonas Yerkes was selling ketchup nationwide by 1837, he sold the product in quart and pint bottles.

• In the 1870’s, HJ Heinz added ketchup to his line and the formula has not changed since. Most companies of today follow this formula.

• By 1900 there were over 100 manufacturers of ketchup.

Writers Block

I suffer from writers block, unfortunately the cure is not more cowbell. Today was an uneventful day full of uneventful adventures. Seriously, I did a few errands and some cleaning, none of it exciting. The only interesting thing I have done so far is scan through the books I picked up at the library. I tried to free write and wrote a lot of blank. My brain must be on a hiatus and forgot to let me know.

How do I deal with writers block? Not sure as I am new to this. I will take a break and come back tomorrow with something better (hopefully).

If anyone reads this, I would like to know how you deal with writers block.

Winning the Game

Today was one of those days where you think everything is planned out and next thing you know it is 9pm and you wonder what happened to the day. I went into town early so I would have plenty of time to make a few stops (Kmart, used book store, Dollar store), before I had to be at registration at 2pm. The registration is another step in the paid schooling process.

I was there in plenty of time and thought I might talk to a career advisor today, that did not happen. There ended up being a good size group of people which they herded into the back and put in line. Each person was then called one at a time to show the required documentation for photocopies and given a folder full of forms to fill out. Because this was per person it took 1 1/2 hours, most of which was spent waiting. Thank God I put a book in my purse that I had just purchased. After said forms were properly filled out, we were given a business card of a career advisor and told to call them to set up an appointment. And so finishes another act on the stage.

This evening I went to my nephews football game after several requests from my sister. The bleachers were shaded and cold and I went to sit with my Dad at the car. His health is not great so they park by the fence and he watches from there. For the first time in quite a while we had a nice conversation and I learned some new things about him. Another new project is born, getting to know my Dad and taking notes for family history. I already do know my Dad, but maybe not as well as I thought. My Mom talks a lot so it is hard to hear him, but now I want to. Getting him away where I can properly listen is the hard part, but I will think of something.

After all the waiting and running around, just a nice conversation with my Dad was all it took to make me smile. Funny how sometimes we miss those things in life. Oh, and my nephews team won the game.

My morning

The air is warm, but the breeze has that slight cool bite to it, enough to start goose flesh on my arms. The sun has just started to rise, coloring the clouds hues of pink. The birds are especially active this morning at the feeder. The doves coo as they walk around picking up the fallen seed. Blue Jays squawk and finches twitter as they fight for seniority of the feeder.

The cedar bird feeder sits among the tall pine trees in the back yard and the birds fly to and fro, tree to tree. A gray cement bird bath waits nearby in the center of a large juniper bush. A brown finch takes a bath, slapping the water with its wings spread and feathers fluffed.

The streak of a green hummingbird near the day lilies catches my eye for a brief moment. The coffee is warm on my throat as I take a sip, leaning back and watching the action. This is my quiet time, my me time, my morning.

Warm and Sunny

What a great weekend it is turning out to be. The weather is still warm and beautiful; I just can not believe it. The weatherman said this morning that we are about 10 degrees warmer than average right now. Hubby was done with work early yesterday so we went to Sturgeon Bay, the best beach around here. It is a jaunt to get there, but well worth it. The sand is almost tropical and the water is very clean and clear. We spent a few hours there yesterday and went back for a couple hours today. Samson went with us today and was a pretty good boy.

Samson has serious ADD, especially when there are other people around. The beach was not crowded, but we walked to an elusive spot so he could have some space and not bother anyone. The water is a bit chilly and we only waded, though there were some people swimming, so maybe we are just wimps. Samson even went for a swim while we were sitting on the shore. Samson is funny that he won’t go in if he feels forced, but if you let him decide he is all for it.

We met a lady walking the shore that also had a dog named Samson. They sniffed each other and walked around, sizing each other up, and then went on their merry way. We ended the day grilling burgers and corn on the cob. This weekend feels like it should have happened in July, but I am glad to get it even now. I believe the next couple of days are to continue being summery, then I am sure fall will start to make an appearance. All I can say is summer is definitely better late than never.

Learning the NFL

Watching men in tight pants chase a ball around was what I thought football was. It seems that I was half right in my assumption. Men do run around in tight pants chasing a ball and beat each other up, but to a crazy set of rules.

The NFL started in 1920, although it was originally called the American Federal Football Association, changing to National Football League in 1922. Fifty years later in 1970, the first Monday Night Football was aired and there has been no going back since. The NFL has grown to mammoth proportions; the most recent NFL draft drew an estimated 36 million viewers. Pretty amazing considering the World Series averaged about 16 million viewers over a five game period.

Football is a very confusing game to the novice sports watcher, which would be me. Each season I question what each player is doing and what their title is, my husband being the very patient teacher. But I am proud to report that I have learned the basics and can follow a game. I could not tell you what every single player on the field does or their position, but that will come in time.

Sports were never my forte as I am sure you probably figured out by now. My husband is the sports observer; I just come along for the ride. He will watch just about any sport, but NFL season is the big gig. Sunday football has become an event in our home. Housework is generally completed before the games start, and there will usually be game food, or a special dinner at half time. Considering my love to cook and eat, especially finger food, I fit right into the pattern.

Football is indeed a happy time for vendors that sell team accessories, not to mention the chicken wing and beer markets. Everybody gets in on the football craze. Bars offer specials so patrons will go to their establishment and watch the games, meanwhile consuming beer and snacks. It is easy to purchase team jerseys, jackets, banners, blankets, bedding, bumper stickers, and the list practically goes on forever. Fans will proudly display their favorite team on their shower curtain, or even with a tattoo.

Loyal fans are the heart of the NFL; they are what make it fun, kind of like a Jimmy Buffett concert. Even Jimmy likes football. He has purchased the naming rights to the Miami Dolphins stadium. It is now known as the Land Shark stadium and he is also reportedly writing a song for the Dolphins. Now that is what I call a fan.

As of this Sunday and Monday, and for the next sixteen weeks, I will be joining the masses in watching the world’s largest professional American football league. Feel free to join in, just don’t forget the buffalo wings and beer.

And so it goes...

The day was beautiful and I accomplished many tasks. Ok, so I am lying a bit. The day was beautiful and I did manage to take Samson for a walk this morning, just after that it kind of fell apart. Frustration set in as I grudgingly wrote a check for property taxes, watching my checking account shrivel in despair. The insurance company said I don't have towing and would not repay the locksmith's bill from the weekend, but would be glad to add it on my policy. I told them no as I am already paying way too much.

Today was my day to call Unemployment, but lo and behold, you can do it online now. That took no time to set up and was done in a matter of minutes, rather than waiting 20 minutes on the phone. If you have an Internet connection I would highly recommend this alternative, unless you like grooving to hold music.

Writing class was also time consuming today. This was one of the hardest lessons yet for me and took a couple hours to complete it. I can't complain about that though as I am learning from it.

So now I must go whip up some fantastic meal for dinner. Hey, it can happen you know, they make some pretty good frozen dinners.

The first "No" arrives

I received an email today saying I did not qualify for a Federal Pell grant. I guess I am not suprised, but still a little disappointed. It is late in the year to be asking for money and with no kids our circumstances probably don't matter. I don't think it is right that they go by last years taxes, things can change a lot in a year. How can they take that income when it was stated that I was no longer working? I just don't get sometimes.

So I will just move on the next hurdle, dancing and pirouetting for them along the way, not to mention the paper work. Gladly will I walk their stage if it helps me move on to something better than where I have been. If only I had a rich ancestor to leave me millions in their will, then I could just travel and report from around the globe.

I leave you with a quote for the dog owners, "To err is human, but to forgive is canine."

Tired

Labor day, no rest for us.  We ended up going to my parents before noon and spent the next few hours splitting and hauling wood.  I was hot,sweaty, and tired when we returned home.  We both showered and just sat and recovered.  It turned out to be another warm day in the lower 80's.  At least I remembered sunblock today.  For dinner we did grilled burgers and pineapple, a new favorite for us.  Lack of motivation kept us from creating anything more to eat, but my Mom gave us some apple pie so we are all set, yummm.

Otherwise my mind is a bit blank so I will leave the writing for another time.

Inside the Open Wound

This is something I wrote many years ago, it came to me in the middle of the night so I got up and this is the end project. And no, I was not depressed when I wrote this.

Why "Inside the open wound"? Well, if you look at in perspective there are many types of open wounds. You have the physical wound of course, and then there are love wounds, mental wounds, family wounds, sexual wounds, etc. The dictionary I have describes a wound as:
1. An injury, especially on in which the skin or other external organic surface is torn, pierced, cut, or otherwise broken.
2. An injury to the feelings.
We are essentially all open wounds in one way or another. Injury to the feelings leaves a lot open if you think about it. Let's have a look at all our feelings. There is love, anger, lust, pain, guilt, sorrow, excitement, passion, happiness, agitation, disappointment, and more that I can't think of at this moment. Most humans feel at least a few of these a day, and living in such population where you are around people every day, at least once someone will injure one of those feelings.
The healing process is time I suppose, we have all heard the sayings "Time heals all wounds" or "With age comes wisdom." I suppose when we stop feeling or we are dead, we are healed. Kind of morbid I suppose, but life can be morbid sometimes. I find the more I have lived and experienced, the better I can control the injuries. I am scarred from the past and tender the the future, but I still look forward to it. As I said earlier, we are all open wounds waiting to be healed.

Just relaxing

No, not a heck of a lot going on today, but it is Sunday. The Sunday paper with the comics, coupons, crosswords, and travel section go nicely with a cup of coffee while I am still in my robe. Slowly perusing the paper for articles that jump out at me, and for the sections I read just because. Sunday is also breakfast day, even though it is usually more of a brunch. Today was french toast stuffed with a mixture of cream cheese and home made raspberry jelly. It came out a little sweeter than I prefer, but was edible and pretty darn good. Just another one of my food experimentations. (is that even a word?)

This afternoon has been continuing on the frustrating crossword, watching some bad tv, and doing some laundry. We also had to deal with a locksmith as he accidentally locked the key in the Jetta and it was the only one we have. Not a big deal and insurance should reimburse us. In another week Sunday will turn into football day. We are not joining any pools this year so I am trying to come up with something where we compete with each other. Something in the idea of whoever gets the most points wins and the loser had to do a chore or something for the winner. If anyone has ideas please feel free to help me out, I have 17 weeks worth of winnings to come up with.

So this is my Sunday, a true day of rest and relaxation.

Starting the waiting game

I went to the orientation to see if I qualify for school, they could not tell me. Not that it was a waste of time, but they gave us pamphlet and went over it and told us what the next step is. Basically I have to apply for a Pell grant and the Pell grant people will send me something saying I have been approved or not approved. Then I have to go and "register" for the No Worker Left Behind program and set an appointment with a career advisor.

I did talk to the instructor after orientaion to see what he had to say about me qualifying. Basically he guessed that I probably would not get a Pell grant because I have no kids and we made too much last year. I don't know how they figure that since our earnings are still in the level of poverty. But he did say that I am still a displaced worker and those are the ones that get to the top of the NWLB list the fastest. So, even though I may not qualify for a Pell grant, there is a good chance I can get it through the other.

Now I start filling out all the forms and get them the information they want, then the waiting begins. Wish me luck.

Indian Summer

I was up early today and met my sister with a truckload of stuff to donate. My nephew is in the Boy Scouts and they were having a huge yard sale to raise money, I do mean huge too. I was in the process of cleaning out my closets anyway, so instead of Goodwill, I hauled to them. She asked if I wanted to stay and help for a bit. I stayed for 3 1/2 hours and worked my butt off unloading trailers of boxes with donated items, and getting sweaty and sunburned. Do I love my family or what?

Summer has finally arrived, better late than never right? It is getting a bit cold at night, but the days are filled with blue skies and lots of sun. They picked a great time to lay me off, right when summer decided to finally visit. Almost makes me feel like a kid again, having the days to just enjoy and dream. Samson is asking for a walk now since I was gone this morning and we did not go then. These are the kind of demands I like.

The Unseen

Samson and I went for walk earlier and I retrieved the mail from the mailbox on my way back. I received the letter from Unemployment saying how much I was going to get a week. Not that horrible, but less than I was hoping. I did some quick math and figured if we cut some more corners we would probably be ok. I hope.

This is the kind of thing I would normally stress about all day. What I am going to do? What will we cut next? Will we survive? But not today kiddies, I am going with the notion that something will work out. I am currently writing this blog on my back deck sitting in my lawn chair getting some sun. (much needed too, I am getting pasty white) Why stress about it? It will not help me in the long run. I realize money will be tight, but right now I am going with what the cosmos have thrown at my feet, time off.

I do believe you make your own destiny, but things also happen for a reason. This is giving me the opportunity to think about what I want to do next in my life. It is giving me more time to test my writing habits. And it is giving me time to get those little things done around the house that I normally save for mid winter because it is to cold to go outside.

Tomorrow I can go back to my to-do list, which is growing instead of shrinking. Today I will enjoy what I have been given, a beautiful sunny day and no plans.

Season of the Chickens

When I was around ten years old my Mom came home with a box of chicks, definitely an impulse buy. Anyway, my Dad had to build a coop and we were eventually going to have fresh chicken. The chicken coop was an A-frame made from old boards that were gray from the elements. There was a long trough inside for their food and an opening in the front leading to a fenced area outside. Looking back it was quite a nice chicken coop.

There were 25 chicks at the beginning, and I believe 17 at the end. We had problems with raccoons and such. One chicken in particular survived an attack and managed the rest of his life with one leg. It was a pretty amazing feat to me at the time.

The problem I had was that I always had pets, and I spent enough time with the chickens to kind of see them as pets too. I was always the one to feed them and had no problems picking them up like they were a cat. It seems I was out at the coop every day watching them grow and interacting as much as you can with a chicken. I don't remember how long it took them to grow, but I do remember when my Dad said they were ready to eat.

Butchering chickens is definitely not for the light hearted. I helped pluck after their heads were off and they had gone in to the big cast iron pot of boiling water. It was a messy project and my sister and I were not real happy to help. It is a wonder I still eat chicken, I know I went awhile after that experience.

It was such a mess and hassle killing and cleaning the chickens that my Mom never did bring home chicks again, thank God. So why do I bring this up? I found some pictures of me as a kid and there it was, one of me holding a chicken and grinning, being the tomboy I was. I love animals enough that I should be a vegetarian, but I guess I am more of a carnivore. Even though I love my steaks, burgers, and chicken, please don't ever introduce me to dinner when it is alive, that definitely takes all the taste out of it.