Lost in Thought

I grieve at the loss of that thought. A thought so powerful it made me want to remember it forever. Alas, I was not able to write the thought down when it appeared. “Don’t worry”, I cried, “I shall remember to write it later”. Later came and the thought had disappeared from my memory. I sit and ponder, trying to remember that great and powerful thought but nothing remains of it. Where did this thought go? Was it so powerful that it could not sit idle in my memory waiting for me to remember? Has it gone on to a land of lost thoughts? We may never know.

Quietly Christmas

Christmas has come and gone like a thought in the wind. I stayed home by myself and it wasn’t too bad. Hubby had to work and since I was recovering from the flu, I thought it best not to germinate the rest of the family. (I wasn’t much in the mood for family anyway.) I poked around the house and accomplished some cleaning and laundry, then spent the day watching TV and reading.

After discovering nothing on but a Criminal Minds marathon, I watched videos we took of Jamaica in 2007. In the beginning of one disc is a sunset on Seven Mile Beach in Negril. The picture is the ocean waves and the sun disappearing into the water, but the background noise is what really made me smile. A conversation with a couple we met over the rhythm of the waves followed by strolling musicians who stopped to play “Island in the Sun”. That piece put me right back on that beach and I could almost taste the salt water on my lips again, a very happy memory.

After the venture down memory lane I shut the TV off and immersed myself in a Salty Piece of Land by Jimmy Buffett for a few hours, again settling myself in the tropics. I think this is the first Christmas I did not go somewhere or do something and it was nice. No stressful drive, no family feuds, no eating too much, just me and my critters and a quiet day to ourselves.

After today I would suggest to people to take a holiday off from the family and running and stay home to rest, sometimes that is a present in itself.

Just as a puppy can be more of a challenge than a gift, so too can the holidays.
- John Clayton

The Time Crook

This is going to be a quick blog of suggestion as I am still in a mood. I suggest to everyone to check out The Time Crook's blog. I love to read his blog and am jealous of his flowing words. He could put out a book of his blogs and I am sure it would sell. So, go check out his blog and his graceful writing and be jealous like me.

I Cannot Blog A Lie

You may have noticed that my blogs have slowed down in frequency. I write it off to the fact that I have had nothing to say, but the truth is I have been a bit cranky and depressed and who wants to read a blog from someone cranky and depressed? I received a rejection yesterday from another financial aid source and it is getting to me. So as I am feeling this way, yet trying not look like I am feeling this way, my emotions are ready to snap. In other words “I need a frickin’ drink, make it ten”.

I will not bore you with all the other melodramatic crap that roams in my head lately, it disgusts even me. Something has to come through eventually and until then I will work to get out of this mood. There are still a lot of people worse off than me, but that doesn’t make me feel any better, just adds a guilt trip for feeling like this in the first place. We humans are such complex creatures, aren’t we?

I am off to perhaps walk the dog if it is warm enough. Seeing him happy generally makes me happy so that may be a good start. Adieu.

Silence

The silence is discomforting at times. Outside noise reminds me that there is life going on around me. The car with the rusty muffler, the chickadees at the feeder, the neighbor’s dog barking at the noisy car. They all tell their own tale laced within another life. But the silence is deafening in its state of nothing. I try to let my thoughts wander and be free yet they come back to the silence that surrounds me. This silence that waits to be impregnated with sound, it has no color or smell. It waits for a footstep, a creaking of the floorboard, something to break its spell. Now I realize the power I carry, the power to break the silence. Just one spoken word or a snap of a finger, the power awaits in me. I feel privileged to have such power, to create such change, but do I want to?

Senseless Snow

I have, as so many others, been spending a lot of time removing snow the last few days. When you don’t have a plow, getting rid of it can be hard work, even with a snow blower. My arms are sore from shoveling; I wonder why people around here don’t look more like Popeye in the winter.

The holidays are approaching and everyone is busy preparing, except me. I don’t decorate because my cats would tear it back down, I know this from experience. We go elsewhere on Christmas day so no need to make a big dinner. I wonder when Christmas started to become more of a headache to me than a celebration. I perhaps have become a bit of a Scrooge and would just rather say “bah humbug” and forget the whole thing.

It could be that hubby is working every day and every one else is busy and maybe I am a bit lonely and depressed. I am at a stand still in my life, unemployed and not sure where to turn next, basically feeling kind of useless.

I am still trying college. I came up with enough money for one class and am applying for the rest, keeping my fingers crossed. For the government pushing education on everyone they sure don’t make it affordable. Seems if they wanted people to get a higher education they would drop the cost of it. But then again, how many things does the government do that makes no sense?

I am off to count the inches of snow before I have to shovel again.

No School For You!

I finally received word this afternoon that I was not going to be funded for this semester of college, but I am still on the list for next semester. I don’t know why they did not pick me but I am guessing it is because I don’t have any illegitimate children running around and am not receiving Welfare. Yes, it made me angry. I remember them telling me that they could see no reason why I would not get funded; they apparently did not look hard enough.

Frustrated as it is I am going to try other routes with the schooling as there is still hardly any work available. Tomorrow I will visit with financial aid at the college and see what we can come up with. I imagine there are many people who are in the same position as me so maybe they will have a solution.

Otherwise my day was filled with the sun shining on a freshly snow blown driveway. Samson and I went for a walk to enjoy the sun until the next storm shows up, which is tomorrow night according to the weatherman.

Education is the ability to listen to almost anything without losing your temper or your self-confidence. – Robert Frost

Loving My Pets

Yes, I am still alive. Time slipped away from me and into other issues of life. Hubby went back to work today, yah! Of course that means it is cold and snowy now, boo! Still no word from the college program people, but they suspect that it will be soon.

Thanksgiving we hosted my family and provided a tasty turkey dinner. We ate too much and felt sleepy afterwards proving the meal successful. If we fed our enemies turkey dinners during war it would probably make them a lot easier to find, they would all be napping.

Samson loves snow. I find it odd that I wound up with a dog who loves snow when I despise it. He relishes in grabbing pine cones off the snow laden limbs and tossing them about so he can stick his whole head in the snow to search for it. Samson also enjoys rolling on his back in an area that has been freshly shoveled or even on ice patches, haven’t figured that one out yet.

Samson has also been trying new food. For some reason I started researching pet food and realized that I wasn’t actually feeding him good food, although I thought it was pretty good. This led to more research on how to read labels and ingredient descriptions and reviews, etc. So the search began for better food for Samson and the kitties. We visited three pet stores and wrote down what they carried and the price, allowing me to do a spreadsheet on Excel. With the spreadsheet we picked eight brands and compared top 10 ingredients, cost, protein percentage, fat percentage, and calorie count. We found that some of the premium dry foods cost the same as some supermarket foods, crazy.

Another thing I discovered is most of the premium foods have websites and if you email them and request a sample of their food they will happily send some. Taste of the Wild blew me away by sending six sample bags (three different flavors) for the dog and two for the cats. I was only turned down by two brands that said they guarantee their food and if your pet didn’t eat it you could return the bag. So if you are shopping for a new pet foods don’t be afraid to ask for samples. Also ask at the pet stores, a store we visited gave us some samples that the company sent them.

The only downside to new food for Samson has been his gas problem, which has been very unpleasant, but I believe it will end when his tummy adjusts. Until then we are trying a little yogurt and pure pumpkin to help with digestion. The cats have taken to some new food very well and Squeaky has been acting like a kitten again, all playful and feisty, and we are still in the switching process. They had a lot of food left so we are stretching the mixing process.

I would like to end this with a website I found very helpful in my research, I thank them for their time and effort in providing the information.
www.petfoodratings.net