Sanity? No thanks.

Wow. August is almost over. I can see all those summer plans fading with each sunset. I feel like all I did was work, sleep, eat, and work some more. I am whining, but let’s face it, working sucks. I apparently wasn’t a smart girl in figuring how to marry a rich fella, or that maybe I should have had a litter of kids and show them off on TV. I have this nagging little thing called pride, it is a bitch sometimes. I am also a bit of a chicken. I have grand ideas of things I would like to do, but lack the conviction to follow through. I did conquer a few things like graduating college and getting certified in scuba, but I still feel like I haven’t done enough. Here I am starting my *cough* 40’s *cough*, with the dreams of a 20 year old and the brain of a middle aged woman. My free side says “let’s just do it!”, and my older side says “we should think about the consequences more”. Basically I feel a bit like the Alice Cooper song “Eighteen”, because I just don’t know what I want. I am scared to change life, but I am also scared that if I don’t try I will regret it for the next 30 years. I have to wonder why my ambition came into the game so late. This would have been so much easier to deal with 20 years ago, but I didn’t know what I wanted then either. Face it, I am screwed until I stop thinking.

Class

Is it crazy to go back to college at 40? Is it crazy to think of complete career changes at 40? I get mixed reviews on such a difficult decision. If you have over 20 years left of working, is it ok to consider making drastic changes? I have been floating the idea of going back to college around in my brain, letting it soak and slosh in the waves. I am drawn to the idea of learning something new that I would greatly enjoy, then the cost slaps my dream back down to reality. Do I want to be in that much debt at such a late age? I am taking one class this fall, paying out-of-pocket of course. I already have a small amount of student loans from getting my AAS and worry about adding more. I attend a small community college that is affordable considering the cost of a university, but eventually I know I will have to move on for a continued education. This is where the dilemma steps in. I believe everyone is entitled to higher education. The problem is the cost of a higher education, is it worth the degree? That is the question, how much is a degree worth? Unfortunately, I am one of those people that doesn't qualify for financial aid, besides the loans of course. I made the choice of not having kids while out of wedlock and my husband and I work full time jobs. We don't make a lot of money, but apparently more than what qualifies for a few dollars thrown my way to continue my education. I will have plenty to weigh as I attempt to answer the question, to learn or not to learn. Education is a great thing, but at what cost?