Anybody out there?
Posted in follow, life, pathetic
It occurred to me that I have no followers. Not one. Is that pathetic or what?
Learning Curve
Posted in books, dreams, education, learning, life, school
I paused at the door and checked the room number again, then hesitantly walked through. I picked a desk close to the door, an easy escape route I guess. Unzipping my backpack and pulling out the required books and writing utensils, I watch the rest of my classmates file in and take seats. Eventually the teacher comes in, checks the time, and closes the door indicating class has begun. The door swings open to admit a young girl who smiles guiltily and rushes to find a seat. Again the teacher closes the door and begins class by introducing themselves and summarizing the class while we watch, listen, and wonder what we got ourselves into.
This is what I experienced many times this week as I started school full time. I have not taken a class in eight years and have not gone full time since high school, which was twenty years ago. Ugh, that makes me sound old.
As I learned what was expected in each class I felt a little doubt enter my brain questioning my ability. When the assignments started, that doubt gained leverage in a couple classes. Let’s face it, school can be scary.
While I continue on next week I can only hope that my brain will adjust to getting this overabundance of information and start absorbing it into memory. Originally I said my goal would be to make the Dean's list (a 3.5 or higher gpa). Now my goal is to try for the Dean's list, but be happy with a passing grade. Wish me luck!
This is what I experienced many times this week as I started school full time. I have not taken a class in eight years and have not gone full time since high school, which was twenty years ago. Ugh, that makes me sound old.
As I learned what was expected in each class I felt a little doubt enter my brain questioning my ability. When the assignments started, that doubt gained leverage in a couple classes. Let’s face it, school can be scary.
While I continue on next week I can only hope that my brain will adjust to getting this overabundance of information and start absorbing it into memory. Originally I said my goal would be to make the Dean's list (a 3.5 or higher gpa). Now my goal is to try for the Dean's list, but be happy with a passing grade. Wish me luck!
Letting Go
Posted in feelings, learning, life, rebellious, thoughts, wants
Do you ever have a conversation you wish you could take back? Yeah, I have had a few good ones. I recently minced words with a close family member, trying to make her think about her decisions, which basically resulted in a shouting match. She is officially an adult now at 18, but I try to remind her that although being 18 makes you an adult, it doesn’t necessarily make you mature. That went over like a turd in a punch bowl. My main concern is that she doesn’t seem to show much respect and hides behind text messages and emails. I wonder what will happen when she actually has to face someone in real life.
So I have come to realize that I just have to quit trying and let her go with her life. All my knowledge from years of trials and tribulations holds no sway; she wants to do it herself. I myself was a bit rebellious at that age too, but I knew when to listen to someone and trust my instincts, which kept me out of a lot of trouble. Things change, generations change, the world changes. I tend to think this generation of teens is spoiled and would have gotten their butt kicked back in my day, as I am sure someone thought that about me.
I bid her adieu and good luck while she starts her own life now. A day will come in the future when I am sure I will get to tell her “I told you so.”
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
- George Carlin
So I have come to realize that I just have to quit trying and let her go with her life. All my knowledge from years of trials and tribulations holds no sway; she wants to do it herself. I myself was a bit rebellious at that age too, but I knew when to listen to someone and trust my instincts, which kept me out of a lot of trouble. Things change, generations change, the world changes. I tend to think this generation of teens is spoiled and would have gotten their butt kicked back in my day, as I am sure someone thought that about me.
I bid her adieu and good luck while she starts her own life now. A day will come in the future when I am sure I will get to tell her “I told you so.”
Just cause you got the monkey off your back doesn't mean the circus has left town.
- George Carlin
Good Day
Posted in bath, dog, friend, happy, life, school, walk
Do you ever just have a good day? I am having one of those, nothing spectacular or exciting, just a plain good day. I admit I am excited to be going back to school next week, I checked and it has been 8 years since I last took a college course. I made contact with a friend I haven’t seen in almost 15 years, that is pretty neat. That actually happened a few days ago but we have been conversing back and forth since. Hopefully we will get together soon and catch up.
Samson and I went for a walk being a balmy 35 degrees out. I also gave him a bath. Ok, so the bathing process is not fun and I usually get soaked, but his reaction afterward is fun. He rolls around on his bed trying to dry off and being silly. I treat him with a biscuit and he lets me trim his nails, then the brushing commences. At present time he is snoozing next to me on the couch, wore out from the activity.
So none of this sounds exciting, right? I know, but I have a smile on my face anyway and am in a really good mood. It is a shame to have such a good mood and no one to share it with, except Samson and the cats. I am in such a good mood I think I will pass on the cleaning chores today and enjoy a good book instead. Good things are coming, I can feel it.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. – George Carlin
Samson and I went for a walk being a balmy 35 degrees out. I also gave him a bath. Ok, so the bathing process is not fun and I usually get soaked, but his reaction afterward is fun. He rolls around on his bed trying to dry off and being silly. I treat him with a biscuit and he lets me trim his nails, then the brushing commences. At present time he is snoozing next to me on the couch, wore out from the activity.
So none of this sounds exciting, right? I know, but I have a smile on my face anyway and am in a really good mood. It is a shame to have such a good mood and no one to share it with, except Samson and the cats. I am in such a good mood I think I will pass on the cleaning chores today and enjoy a good book instead. Good things are coming, I can feel it.
May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house. – George Carlin
Public Speaking
Posted in class, fainted, life, school, silly, speech
I tried to be witty but ended up being silly.
I tried to be coy but ended up being a bore.
I tried to be cool but ended up being a fool.
I tried to be myself but ended up being like everyone else.
Yes, it is a silly poem. What it wrong with being like everyone else? Who said I wanted to be on stage and in the spotlight? I prefer to be in the background writing the script and pulling the strings, that is where the real action is at.
I am taking a required speech class this semester and it scares the crap out of me. I do not like being in front of a group of strangers and having to speak to all of them at once. One or two at a time I can handle, but a whole class? Excuse me while I grab the smelling salts. Ok, I have never actually fainted before and I am sure it will be fine if they can hear my squeaks in the back row.
Do we ever grow out of shyness? I believe that we do overcome it as we age. I have improved immensely since high school. I tried to blend into the walls back then, God forbid a teacher should call on me. It wasn’t that I did not know the answer; I was too scared to talk. Speaking in public probably never will be one of my strong suits, well maybe by the time I am seventy I will be ok with it.
The butterflies will come, my palms will sweat, and hopefully I won’t get the hiccups when I give my first speech. Maybe I will even learn something along the way.
I tried to be coy but ended up being a bore.
I tried to be cool but ended up being a fool.
I tried to be myself but ended up being like everyone else.
Yes, it is a silly poem. What it wrong with being like everyone else? Who said I wanted to be on stage and in the spotlight? I prefer to be in the background writing the script and pulling the strings, that is where the real action is at.
I am taking a required speech class this semester and it scares the crap out of me. I do not like being in front of a group of strangers and having to speak to all of them at once. One or two at a time I can handle, but a whole class? Excuse me while I grab the smelling salts. Ok, I have never actually fainted before and I am sure it will be fine if they can hear my squeaks in the back row.
Do we ever grow out of shyness? I believe that we do overcome it as we age. I have improved immensely since high school. I tried to blend into the walls back then, God forbid a teacher should call on me. It wasn’t that I did not know the answer; I was too scared to talk. Speaking in public probably never will be one of my strong suits, well maybe by the time I am seventy I will be ok with it.
The butterflies will come, my palms will sweat, and hopefully I won’t get the hiccups when I give my first speech. Maybe I will even learn something along the way.
The New Year
Posted in aging, dreams, education, layoff, life, money
The New Year has begun and things are starting to look better already. We went to dinner and then spent a quiet night at home New Years Eve as hubby had to work the next day. This was perfectly acceptable by me.
I was looking at this New Year as a fresh start; I mean it has to get better than the last six months, right? The only really good thing I remember about 2009 was our wedding in Las Vegas, which was great. Otherwise the economy dumped, the winter lasted forever, the summer weather was cold and rainy, I was laid off and turned down by all the aid programs for school, and there was extra stress in my family.
But things are looking up. I was able to get a student loan at the last minute and squeeze into classes for the next semester. Our TV in the bedroom went kaput and by chance someone in his family had purchased a new one and we got the old one for free, timing is everything sometimes.
These are small things to get excited about, but when you have had some bad luck you take what you can get. My outlook for the coming year has brightened with newly resuscitated hope.
In a couple weeks I will be buried by schoolwork, which is a bit scary since I have been out of school for so long. But it is doing something that will hopefully help with our future, something useful. I am ready to do this now and it feels right at this point in my life, guess I really am a late bloomer.
So I make a toast to the New Year, this was an old friend’s favorite:
“Here’s to you, here’s to me, and if you would rather disagree, to hell with you and here’s to me.”
I was looking at this New Year as a fresh start; I mean it has to get better than the last six months, right? The only really good thing I remember about 2009 was our wedding in Las Vegas, which was great. Otherwise the economy dumped, the winter lasted forever, the summer weather was cold and rainy, I was laid off and turned down by all the aid programs for school, and there was extra stress in my family.
But things are looking up. I was able to get a student loan at the last minute and squeeze into classes for the next semester. Our TV in the bedroom went kaput and by chance someone in his family had purchased a new one and we got the old one for free, timing is everything sometimes.
These are small things to get excited about, but when you have had some bad luck you take what you can get. My outlook for the coming year has brightened with newly resuscitated hope.
In a couple weeks I will be buried by schoolwork, which is a bit scary since I have been out of school for so long. But it is doing something that will hopefully help with our future, something useful. I am ready to do this now and it feels right at this point in my life, guess I really am a late bloomer.
So I make a toast to the New Year, this was an old friend’s favorite:
“Here’s to you, here’s to me, and if you would rather disagree, to hell with you and here’s to me.”
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