Alas Poor Me, I Knew Her Well

Today I feel frustrated and want pity even though I know I don’t deserve it. Frustration gets to everyone I guess and maybe today is my turn. I really have nothing to gripe about either, this is what is so stupid about it. I don’t have a job, but we are not destitute, yet. We have cut back on expenses to help, but I feel like I could have been better prepared. Why does it take some of us so long to figure things out in life?

I am not a follow through person, I realize that now. I have a hard time finishing anything and I don’t know why. I could get into a bunch of psychological baloney but I would probably lose interest. I am not sure when I became this way or if I always was this way, hard to tell at this point. It is nobody’s fault but my own. Don’t you wish more people would say that?

I was the one who made all the decisions in my life when I left home, whether good or bad. I had fun along the way and managed not to get thrown in jail, yet. Things did not always turn out like I had hoped, but it could have been worse. The person we are now reflects who we were and where we have been, or does it? What about the people who completely change their lifestyle to better themselves, the ones that go from felon to finding God. They claim to be a new person, but are they? Can you truly leave your past behind and enter the future unscathed?

So I may whine and wail, but I know it is all in vain. The past is the past and I will try not to let it mold my future. I have a wonderful husband, a great and loyal dog, and two loving cats. Add a roof over our heads and food in the pantry what more could I really need? Oh yeah, something to keep my short attention span busy.