Alas Poor Me, I Knew Her Well

Today I feel frustrated and want pity even though I know I don’t deserve it. Frustration gets to everyone I guess and maybe today is my turn. I really have nothing to gripe about either, this is what is so stupid about it. I don’t have a job, but we are not destitute, yet. We have cut back on expenses to help, but I feel like I could have been better prepared. Why does it take some of us so long to figure things out in life?

I am not a follow through person, I realize that now. I have a hard time finishing anything and I don’t know why. I could get into a bunch of psychological baloney but I would probably lose interest. I am not sure when I became this way or if I always was this way, hard to tell at this point. It is nobody’s fault but my own. Don’t you wish more people would say that?

I was the one who made all the decisions in my life when I left home, whether good or bad. I had fun along the way and managed not to get thrown in jail, yet. Things did not always turn out like I had hoped, but it could have been worse. The person we are now reflects who we were and where we have been, or does it? What about the people who completely change their lifestyle to better themselves, the ones that go from felon to finding God. They claim to be a new person, but are they? Can you truly leave your past behind and enter the future unscathed?

So I may whine and wail, but I know it is all in vain. The past is the past and I will try not to let it mold my future. I have a wonderful husband, a great and loyal dog, and two loving cats. Add a roof over our heads and food in the pantry what more could I really need? Oh yeah, something to keep my short attention span busy.

Waiting With Kitty

I danced the dance of true love
I cried the sorrow of heartache
I laughed the joy of life
I lived beyond the moment

That popped in to my head earlier today, no idea what brought it on, but I like it.

I met with my advisor today. After handing in the rest of what is required I am officially on the waiting list for January. Unfortunately they have no set time when they pick from the list; it could be in two weeks or two months. So now I wait, with bated breath, on pins and needles, for that one exact moment, when I learn if I am good enough for them, or will I be rejected and cast aside like a bad tomato, splattering my rotted insides as I land......... Sorry, got carried away in the moment.

I played spin the cat earlier with Squeaky. We have an extra office chair that swivels and she likes to lay in it and get spun while trying to grab your hands.
I don’t spin her fast or constantly, but she really does enjoy it and gets all playful and feisty. Now she is curled up and sleeping in the same chair. Oh, lest we forget the simple enjoyments of life.

Sweet dreams kitty.