Today I feel frustrated and want pity even though I know I don’t deserve it. Frustration gets to everyone I guess and maybe today is my turn. I really have nothing to gripe about either, this is what is so stupid about it. I don’t have a job, but we are not destitute, yet. We have cut back on expenses to help, but I feel like I could have been better prepared. Why does it take some of us so long to figure things out in life?
I am not a follow through person, I realize that now. I have a hard time finishing anything and I don’t know why. I could get into a bunch of psychological baloney but I would probably lose interest. I am not sure when I became this way or if I always was this way, hard to tell at this point. It is nobody’s fault but my own. Don’t you wish more people would say that?
I was the one who made all the decisions in my life when I left home, whether good or bad. I had fun along the way and managed not to get thrown in jail, yet. Things did not always turn out like I had hoped, but it could have been worse. The person we are now reflects who we were and where we have been, or does it? What about the people who completely change their lifestyle to better themselves, the ones that go from felon to finding God. They claim to be a new person, but are they? Can you truly leave your past behind and enter the future unscathed?
So I may whine and wail, but I know it is all in vain. The past is the past and I will try not to let it mold my future. I have a wonderful husband, a great and loyal dog, and two loving cats. Add a roof over our heads and food in the pantry what more could I really need? Oh yeah, something to keep my short attention span busy.
Alas Poor Me, I Knew Her Well
Posted in building, island, life, mystery, reading, story, tomato, vanilla, wants
Wants vs. Needs
Posted in freelance, island, life, music, needs, wants
My dream is to live on an island, preferably one of the US Virgin Islands. I would work part time doing whatever at a tourist trap and freelance write on the side. I often wonder if that were to come true what I would take with me. My answer would be:
1. My husband (obviously)
2. My pets (I would hate to leave them behind)
3. A box of my favorite books
4. A radio/cd player with a box of our cd’s
5. My laptop with an Internet connection
6. A small TV to pick up some news channels.
OK, I do like stuff, but what is really needed to make me happy? That is a big step in life, to discern our wants from our needs. Some people have a big list, others small. Being home alone more often I have discovered that I usually don’t turn anything on during the day. I like the quiet and enjoy sitting with my dog and a book. Sometimes I read aloud to him and even the cats will come and listen. This is how I relax and it makes me happy.
I am not saying I don’t enjoy the radio or television, quite the opposite. I follow a few TV shows and have a list of favorite movies. Music moves the world, I cannot imagine living without it. I love to read and picture the story in my mind, the same holds true with music. Music can tell a story, change your mood, spark a memory, and make you laugh or cry.
Given the opportunity, I could survive with the first four on my list, but number five would be a big help. Number six would be considered a luxury, especially if I had an island view to look at instead. I could picture hubby and me sitting on a deck at the end of the day, watching the sunset, sipping a cocktail, feeling the cool breeze off the ocean. In the end it will be who I loved and where we journeyed that will matter, not the toys that distracted me.
1. My husband (obviously)
2. My pets (I would hate to leave them behind)
3. A box of my favorite books
4. A radio/cd player with a box of our cd’s
5. My laptop with an Internet connection
6. A small TV to pick up some news channels.
OK, I do like stuff, but what is really needed to make me happy? That is a big step in life, to discern our wants from our needs. Some people have a big list, others small. Being home alone more often I have discovered that I usually don’t turn anything on during the day. I like the quiet and enjoy sitting with my dog and a book. Sometimes I read aloud to him and even the cats will come and listen. This is how I relax and it makes me happy.
I am not saying I don’t enjoy the radio or television, quite the opposite. I follow a few TV shows and have a list of favorite movies. Music moves the world, I cannot imagine living without it. I love to read and picture the story in my mind, the same holds true with music. Music can tell a story, change your mood, spark a memory, and make you laugh or cry.
Given the opportunity, I could survive with the first four on my list, but number five would be a big help. Number six would be considered a luxury, especially if I had an island view to look at instead. I could picture hubby and me sitting on a deck at the end of the day, watching the sunset, sipping a cocktail, feeling the cool breeze off the ocean. In the end it will be who I loved and where we journeyed that will matter, not the toys that distracted me.
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