Alas Poor Me, I Knew Her Well

Today I feel frustrated and want pity even though I know I don’t deserve it. Frustration gets to everyone I guess and maybe today is my turn. I really have nothing to gripe about either, this is what is so stupid about it. I don’t have a job, but we are not destitute, yet. We have cut back on expenses to help, but I feel like I could have been better prepared. Why does it take some of us so long to figure things out in life?

I am not a follow through person, I realize that now. I have a hard time finishing anything and I don’t know why. I could get into a bunch of psychological baloney but I would probably lose interest. I am not sure when I became this way or if I always was this way, hard to tell at this point. It is nobody’s fault but my own. Don’t you wish more people would say that?

I was the one who made all the decisions in my life when I left home, whether good or bad. I had fun along the way and managed not to get thrown in jail, yet. Things did not always turn out like I had hoped, but it could have been worse. The person we are now reflects who we were and where we have been, or does it? What about the people who completely change their lifestyle to better themselves, the ones that go from felon to finding God. They claim to be a new person, but are they? Can you truly leave your past behind and enter the future unscathed?

So I may whine and wail, but I know it is all in vain. The past is the past and I will try not to let it mold my future. I have a wonderful husband, a great and loyal dog, and two loving cats. Add a roof over our heads and food in the pantry what more could I really need? Oh yeah, something to keep my short attention span busy.

Building Blocks

There is nothing like completing something you weren’t sure you could do in the first place. The other day I used a skill saw for the first time and built a gate for my fence. The skill saw was my ex’s and has been sitting in the closet for years waiting for use. I have used a power drill but that has been the extent of my power tool usage.

I measured and cut, screwing the boards together in frame form with wire fence for filler. Hanging it on the post with the hinges was a bit harder but I managed to get it done with a little ingenuity. The finishing touch was a silver latch that works perfectly. As simple as it sounds I am still proud that I accomplished building something all by myself, makes me want to buy a tool belt. :)

The next day I cleaned up and old microwave cart and made it into movable kitchen cart. I had a large maple block cutting board given to me and set that on the top, putting that rubber stuff that keeps rugs from sliding in between to keep the board from sliding. The board is heavy and it worked great. I lined my cookbooks on the first shelf and put some miscellaneous on the bottom shelf. A small towel rack on the side will finish it off as soon as I get one.

Who knows where this sudden creativity comes from but it has been keeping my busy. I am going with it as I know it won’t last too long, it never does. So that is what I have been up to while I still wait to hear about the college program, let’s hope it will be this month. Otherwise I am off to see what else I can construct or deconstruct.