Defiance of Age

Nobody told me there would be days like this; John Lennon sure had that right. Getting old sucks! There, I said it. My body is rebelling against the way it was treated in my youth, which really wasn’t bad at all. Besides new hormones that like to bang on the door without notice, my muscles are trying to abandon me. Granted these are muscles that I have previously not been nice to. (e.g. tearing and spraining).

I try apologizing with a heating pad, Icy Hot, or a hot bath. This satisfies them temporarily, but then they are right back to complaining. I perform exercises to help make them youthful again and that really pisses them off, the complaints commencing on a grander scale. I did not take the proper care when they were originally injured and am now paying the price for ‘toughing it out’.

I shall not give up though. I will prove to them that their complaining will not slow me down right now. It is called Tylenol, or whatever is in my medicine cabinet at the time. Perhaps they will never have the stature of their youth again, but all effort will not be lost.

As far as the hormones go, I wish I knew. All I can say is make me a Cosmo with a couple Midol on the side or get the f#$% out of my sight. Fortunately I have never had to say this as hubby knows when to leave me alone. Maybe it’s the way he gazes into my glowing red eyes and instantly gets that ‘oh shit’ look , understanding this may not be the time to discuss my vices. He will quietly back out of the room with the dog in tow, seeking sanctuary elsewhere. What a great guy.

I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. – George Carlin